room for more love

When I was asked to share our story, I didn’t hesitate—but now that it’s out there, I feel a little shy. I suppose that’s what Infertility Awareness Week is for. So, with a deep breath and my partner’s blessing, I offer this in honour of all the other #1in6.

Infertility affects 1 in 6, and research confirms that the emotional toll is comparable to that of serious illness. We learned that no amount of longing can make a seed grow on demand—not even with the best intentions or conditions. Life unfolds in its own way, in its own time. Our work was to stay as healthy and open as we could, and to surrender to the rest. The journey broke our hearts—but only to make room for more love.

alda's story

I worked at Acubalance for over 11 years, and spent the first seven of them trying to become a parent—while supporting others on the same path. Patience was part of it, but so were frustration, fear, grief, and sheer determination. It was incredibly hard. I was fortunate to be in the care of leading experts: Dr. Emilie and my Acubalance colleagues collaborated on my case, and Dr. Beth Taylor was my primary RE.

My partner and I began by focusing on our overall well-being—using acupuncture, herbs, dietary changes, exercise, yoga, and meditation to support our reproductive health. In Chinese Medicine, we talk about cultivating the healthiest seed and nourishing the soil before planting, and that philosophy guided us. My partner’s sperm parameters improved with these changes, and once I felt strong enough, I had surgery to remove uterine polyps. From there, we moved forward with both unmedicated and medicated IUIs.

Over seven years, we conceived twice - both unassisted and through unmedicated IUI after surgery to remove uterine polyps. Sadly, both pregnancies ended in losses. Having surgery was a huge step for me after a traumatic post-surgical hemorrhage in my teens left me terrified of medical procedures. With the help of Chinese Medicine and the exceptional care of Dr. Beth Taylor—who offered not only skill but deep attentiveness and compassion—I was able to face it. Her thoughtful follow-up, including photos and a handwritten note, made me feel truly seen. After years of doing everything I could naturally and medically, I was finally ready to consider IVF.

On the same day that we finally decided to move forward with IVF, I learned that Dr. Taylor was moving clinics and would not be able to do any ART procedures until they found a new location and built a new lab and clinic. Once again, I was devastated.

Shortly after this setback, my partner and I went on a 10-day silent mindfulness meditation retreat for a reset. On the second day, I noticed my period was late, and to my shock, a pregnancy test was positive—we had conceived unassisted again, and I was suddenly “trapped” in silence. I had all of the thoughts and feelings – I was excited and elated, and I was also worried, anxious and terrified of having another pregnancy loss. I was forced to sit and be with it all. I couldn’t tell my partner and I couldn’t have any early monitoring done. These silent meditation days were like a culmination of the entire journey. I anchored myself in the steadiness of my breath, as I practiced watching the storm of thoughts and emotions bubble through my mind, trying not to judge them, or let them hijack me.

People always ask me what was the one thing that finally made the difference. But I can’t say that it was any one thing. The biggest struggle for me was grappling with the fear, frustration and grief of ultimately not being in control, and not being able to make a pregnancy happen, despite all efforts.

Integrated care helped me focus on what I could control to support my physical health, while mindfulness anchored me through the emotional ups and downs. It gave me space to care for myself without getting swept away, and to let go—without losing hope or grasping for outcomes.

There was no single thing that made the difference—each piece mattered. Chinese Medicine supported my overall wellbeing, Dr. Taylor and her team offered expert western scientific, compassionate care, and mindfulness gave me resilience and an inner refuge from the emotional intensity of the journey.

We’re deeply grateful for the gifts of Eastern and Western medicine, and the power of mindfulness. Together, they helped us care for body, mind, and heart—and we know we wouldn’t be holding our beloved little boy without all three.

www.mindfulnessforfertility.com